Kind and encouraging exchange of ideas for everyday life…including ideas from a friend, Ven. Jampa Choepal

Patience

Habituating our mind and reactions…. persevering with it

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Sometimes all you can do is be strong, compassionate and patient


“Patience is a vast subject…” ….learning to nurture and develop more patience

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patience is a vast subject

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ahhhhhhh…. patience…
definitely a vast subject,
and it seems to develop over time.
We might progress in developing patience in some areas
and then “poof…”
“where did it go?”
patience is lacking in another area
I guess I might benefit from developing patience in the expanding practice of  patience?

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When I first met Jampa, one of my “least favorite” words was “patience”… I bristled each time Jampa mentioned that word. Sometimes I wondered if the word was mentioned simply to add irritation…of course,  that wasn’t the reason, but I had such difficulty with patience in some areas that it seemed that way.  Oddly enough, at that time, I worked with children who had challenges and I was extremely patient with them…but in other situations, including with myself…not so much… patience does seem to be a vast subject.

Strangely enough, the top google search term for people arriving at Reflections for a Friend is… “patience”

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Link to a number of other “Reflections from a Friend” posts with ideas and quotes about patience….(this post appears first, just scroll down through posts)  patience posts on “reflections from a friend”

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advice patience is needed

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Below are some ideas I had come up with several years ago…2009….for developing more patience in some of the specific areas on that first card/image.  I use these ideas with myself, but  surprisingly, several 10 year old students also really resonated with many of the ideas.  I’m including the ideas here, in case they might be helpful for anyone else.  (The “phrases” are very basic and simple…maybe even seeming a bit “childish”…. but sometimes in the midst of a reaction, I sometimes feel like a little kid and find simple to be more helpful than longer lines of reasoning.)

Link to larger image  of that chart, in case it’s too small or difficult  to read within this post. “Patience phrases”

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developing patience ideas for saying to oneself

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patience is a vast subject Ven. Jampa

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6/27/13 Why worry? …. “If we have a problem and …..” advice from Shantideva, 8th Century

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Shantideva why worry

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Some “wisdom” Kathy is trying to keep in mind right now…

During “in-between times”….
when there may be a possible “problem” developing,
but not yet happening or certain…
to recognize and remember this  wisdom,
originally from Shantideva, in the 8th century,
rephrased by Jampa
“If we have a problem and can’t fix it, then worry solves nothing.
If we have a problem that can be fixed, why worry?”
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And if we are in that period of time when we “don’t know” or are “uncertain,”
that “in-between” period,
to develop and use patience
and NOT  create imagined hypothetical scenarios or worries,
to rest calmly and steadily
during those periods of uncertainty

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(now THAT  is ambitious, at least for some of us!
positive and helpful, but ambitious!)

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Related Post  on Pocket Perspectives:  “Keeping our pets healthy and safe…guess how much we love you?”

Kathy, Peter and Julie’s  dog Denali ate parts of a grill cleaning brush on Monday night…..the vet will need to operate this afternoon  (Thursday in California) to remove the clump of bristles and plastic in her stomach.  Sooooo….. to keep going back to Shantideva’s advice and wisdom on that “card.”  Monday update…Denali died yesterday, of lung complications from the operations. Link to a Monday post honoring Nali: “Comfort….shhhhhh…it’s going to be okay… with time it will be okay”

Another post with helpful advice: “To not worry so much over things we have no control over”


5/20/13 Relax, work with what you have…in time it will sort itself out…

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relax, work with what you have, in time it will sort itself out...

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4/21/13 “One day at a time…that’s enough for now…”

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one day at a time...that's enough for now

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3/25/13 To wait until the situation is more settled….to understand it


1/28/13 “Patience is a vast subject…”

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patience is a vast subject

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1/21/13 “Why worry?” ….advice from Shantideva, 8th Century

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Shantideva why worry

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ideas from Kathy
(Jampa is in retreat for several more weeks)

So during those “in between” times….
to recognize and remember this  wisdom,
originally from Shantideva, in the 8th century,
rephrased by Jampa
“If we have a problem and can’t fix it, then worry solves nothing.
If we have a problem that can be fixed, why worry?”
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And if we are in a period of time when we don’t know or are uncertain,
that in between period,
to develop and use patience
and not create hypothetical scenarios or worries
to rest calmly and steadily
during those periods of uncertainty

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(now THAT  is ambitious, at least for some of us!
positive and helpful,
but ambitious!)

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11/12/12 Showing more patience and kindness toward oneself….

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10/26/12 Sometimes all you can do is be strong, compassionate and patient

 


9/7/12 Habituating our mind and reactions, persevering with it

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7/12/12 Don’t dwell on it too much….not now anyways

 

 

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from Kathy…I’ve found this suggestion to be very helpful.
And,  here’s another card with similar ideas
one that has been posted several times before…
my “image” for this idea
in the midst of the rapids, stay in the boat and hold on
…don’t jump into the turbulent waters,  if the water is too high….
of course, not “dwelling on it” isn’t easy to do…but worth the practice

 


7/11/12 Real happiness is equanimity and stability….

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from Kathy
ah yes…
“equanimity and stability”

avoiding the inflated “wow’s” and  “uh oh’s” ….
…still learning this…
but “constant and rich” sure sounds good to me… :D
link to related, expanded post on Pocket Perspective: “day in a life, part 1, the ups and downs within a day”

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from that linked PP post:  the “wow’s” and the “uh oh’s”


7/8/12 Try to let all those thoughts go and rest in the stillness of the mind


6/17/12 The mind must be developed by you alone….

 

 

From DailyDalaiLama.com

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But….
thank goodness for help, encouragement and support from others
while working toward that…
And keeping in mind….
slowly, slowly
one day at at time…

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5/28/12 It’s better to wait until the reactions has lessened before trying to work on it

 

hmmm….good idea…..
sometimes, a bit hard to do,
but important and helpful  to practice…
a good piece of advice….


3/17 Patience is a vast subject

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I’ve been learning a lot in the past few weeks…now to have the patience to learn to use the ideas in my thinking and my everyday life…it seems that patience is indeed a vast subject…

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2/29 Showing more kindness and patience toward oneself….

showing more kindness and patience toward oneself and others…. a beautiful idea and aspiration….

I sometimes try to think….is it kind?….is it helpful?….

And another version of that….sometimes referred to as “wise speech”….
to learn to pause, reflect, consider and choose carefully….
keeping these criteria in mind…..

And another patience encouraging message….


12/22 As preference and expectation are lessened, less patience is needed

 

 

 

 


12/15 Patience is needed….

 

 

 

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12/1 Emotions arise, abide and dissolve

 

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11/27 Some of the concepts of Buddhism are easy, but putting them into practice is the hardest part

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“Putting them into practice is the hardest part….”

……ahhhh, indeed it can be….

Some positives….


10/4 It’s better to wait until the reaction has lessened





9/28 Patience is our friend in this situation….


Another patience quote


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